Four Years Old!

On Sunday, December 30th, 2007, this little guy came into our world:



Four years later, I'm living with this little man:


Four. Years. Old.

When I kissed Hamilton good-night last night, I said good-bye to three-year-old Hamilton with a pang in my heart. The bittersweet part of being a parent of little ones is seeing them grow and become more and more themselves while saying good-bye to versions of them you'll never see again. Many moments come when I wish he were at school all day or able to be more independent. Of course, I do. I'm a normal mom. But now that "school age" is approaching, I'm searching for the brakes on this growing-up train. In my mind, "5" means he'll no longer be my little boy. He'll be my "big boy." That leaves one more year to live with little Hamilton. I'm determined to soak it up and try to enjoy the four-old cuteness and gracefully survive the four-old "argh's!"

Travis once remarked that one day you'll be holding his hand for the last time, but you won't know it's the last time. I guess that means I'll be crossing a lot of streets and parking lots this year...to make sure I get to hold that little hand as much as possible.

*a more celebratory birthday post on the boys' blog...

Music, music, music

I always love music. Heaven knows I've blogged about it numerous times. Sometimes, though, I get in a bit of a drought. Like, I'm not listening to anything new, and none of my old stuff is clicking with me. This is usually when the boys get to listen to their Disney soundtracks and other kid music.

Right now isn't one of those times. I could go on amazon or iTunes and buy a dozen cd's without even thinking too hard about it. And I'm totally loving a bunch of stuff I already have. The boys and I enjoyed Arcade Fire and Mates of State this evening; the only black mark being Hamilton insisting on spinning and flailing around with his eyes closed. *Sigh* Poor Christmas tree. Poor Beckett. Never fear...all survived.

I'm curious if any of you out there in blog land (if indeed someone other than myself reads this), have discovered any new great music or re-discovered an oldie but goodie?

Here's a quick list from me...

• Ill Communication and Hello Nasty by the Beastie Boys. I'm very proud that Hamilton instantly recognizes the Boys. I'm sad that I have to pay more attention to lyrics with kiddos in the car.
• I must have the new Florence and the Machine
• I would also like Foster the People and Grouplove. It's important to have music like this to overcome stressful mommy days and simply dance through the house instead of making dinner.
  
• Did you know the Black Keys is two nerdy-looking white boys? Did not know that. If you've listened to Brothers, I think you would also be surprised. Their new album is called El Camino and has a minivan on the cover. So, it's pretty obvious that I need that too.
• Page France. It's a mix my brother made me. Band doesn't exist anymore, sadly, but their music still does. H is a fan.
• want Young the Giant
• want The Naked and the Famous
• enjoying Christmas music, of course! My fav compilation was actually made by a boy I was deeply "in crush" with, so I feel slightly weird busting it out annually.
• Christmas music I need to break out: Dan Fogelberg and George Winston...even if both will be accompanied by the nostalgic heart squeeze of Christmases past with my mama.
  
• I have a cd mix of great music from Travis in my car...from Phoenix to Dave Mathews.
• Arcade Fire's "Sprawl II"...second to last song on the album. Ugh. Love it so.
• My sister-in-law is into Youth Lagoon right now. Would like to check that out...
• Speaking of Heidi (kind of), I got my dad the new Fleet Foxes. Heidi got me an earlier cd by them. So chill. So awesome. So, now I want to listen to the old one AND buy the new one.

Hopefully, Alex doesn't read this and have a Christmas-related panic attack. He's now reached the status of "it is acceptable for you to select music for me," so if he got something not from this list, I'm sure it deserves to be on the list. And if he didn't, good because I'm feeling crazy spoiled without having opened a single gift.

How about you? Anything to add?

Holiday Cheer Returns

The previous three Christmases have had us traveling to family, with illness as our unwelcome companion. Last year, Hamilton threw up hourly in the car. Beckett then screamed in the hotel room, until a 4am ER visit confirmed a sudden, raging ear infection. So, it was a pretty easy decision to forgo the big family visit to Utah this year. We'd settle for a quick weekend trip to Alex's family to enjoy an early Christmas and time with Ashley and Spencer before they moved back East.

How silly of us not to anticipate trouble.

Hamilton, who is hardly ever sick, threw up hourly (pattern?) from 11pm Thursday to 5am Friday. I actually don't mind this time, to be honest...it makes me feel like a mom. I'm happy to sleep curled up in a corner of his room to make sure he's ok and not alone when he's feeling sick and scared. "Make it go away, Mommy" were his sweet, trusting words to me around 3am.

By the afternoon, I also declared Beckett to have an ear infection, as he was clingy, sad, and feverish all morning. 102 degree fever and infection confirmed at the pediatrician's. We necessarily put off our drive until the following morning, after the kids got a much needed good night's rest in their own beds.

Miraculously, the drive was sickness-free. Whew! Alex and I had a good time chatting away the hours, conversation I've missed since he's been super busy at work.

We made it through some afternoon hang out time, "Christmas Eve" dinner, and an exchange of the family's traditional homemade gifts, but our holiday fates began to announce their presence sometime during a venture to see neighborhood lights.

You know your weekend has been awesome, when you reflect, "Well, thank goodness I was sick during the middle of the night, so I wasn't hogging the bathroom from everyone or too embarrassed about my time there" and "Wasn't it convenient that I finally stopped throwing up in time for Beckett to start?"and "Well, it's nice that instead of gaining weight during a family visit, I've lost some!"

It was a quieter "Christmas morning" for the RB Spjutes on the couch, but we were there and enjoyed opening gifts and watching everyone else do the same. Whew. :)

Our trip back seemed to be going well. I discovered that Lay's potato chips were exactly what my tummy needed. Oh, salt, thank you so much.

Then, we stopped for dinner. At a crappy Wendy's. With an Alex that was more "borderline breakdown" than realized. Oh, and with a one-year-old with a super sensitive gag reflex. Alex caught vomit twice in his hand.

Getting back onto the freeway, I tried to lighten the mood, "Well, that stop was about par for the course for this trip."

"Don't talk to me" was the response. There may have also been an f-word worked in there, not directed at me, but rather at the general situation of us still managing to have a sick-filled holiday trip despite said trip only being 36 hours. And did I mention that Alex had a few hours of work waiting for him at home? Yeah...

So....

I was terribly, terribly pleased when my sweetie pie bounded up the stairs after work on Monday to see me and the boys, who were in the middle of bedtime stories. Alex even agreed to a quick FHE. For the opening song, Hamilton chose "Jingle Bells" and "Rudolf." He was so cute popping up behind Alex for the echo parts, I made them sing it again on camera. This is what I got:







And thus the holiday cheer returned to the Spjute house. We are grateful that we get a second shot at a more merry Christmas this weekend. Please stay away from us if you are even thinking about being sick.

Bittersweet

One of the saddest and sweetest things I've seen lately was Alex and Hamilton walking hand in hand to visit Alan's grave yesterday. I'm so sad that a trip to the cemetery will be part of visiting both of our families now. I'm sorry that Hamilton has to learn about death and grief so early, but I feel blessed to have this sensitive little boy who "gets" it more than you would think. He has proven a comfort to both Alex and me.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...

Christmas. :)

I've done two new things this year especially for my boys. And, of course, if it makes more fun and more holiday memories, it's for me too.

1. Book Advent Calendar. I've wanted to do this for a couple years, but it requires 24 books and some planning ahead. So, I was kind of doubtful about it happening this year. However, we pulled out the decorations yesterday, and I discovered that we had 22 Christmas books! Needless to say, I bought the remaining two at Target today. I was just too close not to. Then, while Beckett was sleeping and Hamilton was watching a movie, I wrapped them all up. My plan is for Hamilton and me to do this during Beckett's naptime.



2. Felt Christmas Tree. I saw this on Pinterest a few weeks ago and thought, "I have to do this!" I happened to already have a bunch of green and red felt. So, after getting felt in some more colors (a trip that totally traumatized Alex...bad childhood memories of fabric stores, I guess), I spent an hour or so making the tree and decorations. There is SUCH potential for cute ornaments, but I resisted doing anything too elaborate because Hamilton has a tendency to destroy things I've worked hard on, which is accompanied by my tendency to become completely unhinged. And, indeed, he's already tried to throw the ornaments away. *Sigh* I can see, though, this being a fun tradition and each year adding better ornaments, with the boys eventually making them themselves.


After our Felt Tree Photo Shoot, Hamilton wanted to take some pictures. I let him and felt super pleased about my picking up his own kid camera for his birthday at the end of the month. Shhhh...don't tell him. :)