Home Alone

One of my favorite times of day is the transition from workout to shower. My current belly situation has transformed uptightly modest me into a bit of an exhibitionist. Okay, maybe "exhibitionist" isn't quite right as it's usually only me (sometimes Alex) in the house, but my favorite outfit is a sportsbra and underwear. The belly likes its freedom, what can I say? Maybe Hamilton is already working on establishing "naked time" like his big cousin Luke.

Anyway, it was during this beloved transition time that the doorbell rings. Looking out the peephole, I see a twenty-something guy I don't know. So, between my current ensemble and Alex being out of town, I opt for extra caution and ignore the door. The doorbell rings again. Okay...kind of persistent, but I'm off to shower...Then, I hear him turning the doorknob. Luckily, I always have the door locked, so his attempt to open the door is fruitless; although, it has resulted in increasing my heartrate quite a bit. After standing perfectly still for a minute or so, I decide that's the end of it and head upstairs. While trying to tell myself that I'm overreacting and just a little paranoid, I hear our screen door downstairs move and fall off its tracks with a muffled "Oh, s***."

Okay, okay. Keep it together, Kate.

But I still start feeling a little trapped in my own house and wondering, "Is this how it will end? Is this how people feel right before...?" Then, I start thinking about little Hamilton, and my thoughts become decidedly more offensive. I pretty much figure I'll kill the mother $%$@* before he lays a hand on me.

Next I hear the front door knob trying to turn again downstairs. Opting for the phone rather than the knife I figured I could use, I approach the door, look through the peephole, and see the same guy there.

"What do you want," I say in a shaky-but-trying-to-sound-tough voice from behind the locked door.

"Is this Laura and Chris' place?"

"Uh...no."

"Well, is this 2312 Ruhland Avenue?"

"Yes, but they don't live here."

"Are you sure?"

Pretty damn sure you stupid jerk, I think but say, "Yes...."

At some point he apologizes for scaring me but continues to insist I give him guidance. My fear and adrenalin level take awhile to lower enough for me to remember my address is shared with 3 other units, one of them being recently purchased by Laura and Chris. I direct him towards the back. Still a little shaky, I call Alex who doesn't quite grasp the whole "I thought I was going to be a tragic home invasion story on the news," but luckily his voice comforts me enough to get me into the shower and off to Lamaze.