Alex's and my little boy will be born at Little Company of Mary Hospital. We've been enjoying their services for the last couple months without having actually entered the hospital. In an attempt to feel more prepared, Alex and I have been attending numerous "pre- and post-baby" classes in the education center at the back of the hospital. Last "class" we had to take advantage of? "Maternity Tea and Tour."
We started off in a conference room where I spent the first few minutes getting tea and cookies, picking up free samples, brochures, and, of course, checking out the other bellies in the room. Who's farther along? Who LOOKS farther along? Who has maintained reasonable thigh diameters? Once the nurse started talking, Alex and I soon went into parent guilt mode: We should have preregistered 2 months ago? Our car seat should be installed? And checked by the CHP? We should have our pediatrician picked out? My bag should be packed by now? And here I thought I was ahead of the game by having already picked out Hamilton's cute going home outfit (from his Grandpa Snyder).
(Guilty parent update: Alex and I are now preregistered at the hospital; after the tour, Alex and I hightailed it to Babies R Us and bought a car seat; I've made an appointment with the CHP; I now have a list of pediatricians to choose from.)
After a video on the glories of pain medication during labor, we were off to see where we enter the hospital depending on the time of day. Alex was especially keen to get this info, as it will be his responsibility to transport crazy in-labor me to the right door. He rightly imagines my mantra for this moment to be, "Honey, this really hurts" as I never feel he's terribly understanding of my discomfort, so I have to somehow remind him continually. However, I still kind of imagine we can just park and walk in, but it's possible I'm in a little "labor pain denial" myself.
It was pretty cool to check out one of the labor/delivery/(and often) recovery rooms...pretty roomy, recently updated, and so on. What was LESS cool was when the nurse took off the bottom part of the bed, instantly transforming an innocent hospital bed to a medieval-like torture contraption: scary stirrups and red bag you deliver the placenta into. Ummm....can I even remotely picture myself here? NO. It's much more fun to imagine my little boy squirming on the nearby bassinet, getting all checked out.
No babies to look at in the nursery....why? 1. It's not Utah County, 2. babies mainly stay with the mom. In a way, I'm glad not to see babies because they tend to make me tear up pretty easily these days.
The hospital tour was helpful, but in a distant kind of a way. I honestly cannot wrap my head around the fact that a baby will be living with us in about a month....and that I'll be his mommy, the one to wake up with him, feed him, and kiss his tiny feet. He moves around enough still to make it impossible for me NOT to realize he's there, and my range of motion is steadily decreasing...a less enjoyable reminder there's a six pound person inside me. But it's still pretty surreal.
I hope he's as excited to see all of you over the holidays as I am, so he's a 2007 baby! No change in the old cervix so far though....hmmm...too much information? Then ignore my next blog, "Musings on Episiotomies."
10 comments:
Let me just say you are way more prepared than I was. The CHP checking out your car seat? Amazing. Who would have thought. When I left with Luke, they gave me a pat on the back, and maybe asked me if I HAD a car seat, not if I knew how to use it. I don't think I packed a bag, either. I just had Travis bring me some stuff from home. That would explain my comfy, yet fashionably hideous "coming home outfit". But I didn't care...I had just had the cutest little baby!
I can't wait to meet Hamilton. And don't let anyone guilt you into anything. You guys are great! That baby will be so loved by everyone it will make up lack of preregistering or interviewing pediatricians 5 months early.
i agree with Heidi... one of the most manipulative businesses out there is the new parent market. Salesman always subtly appeal to the safety and well being of the baby.
Example: buying a crib mattress
"Oh well folks you've got several models to choose from these lower end models "should" work fine but this $1200 mattress was specially designed to protect against SIDS. "
Wow, well at least you have that out of the way. Now it's just the waiting game. I really don't feel like I can give any advice, given that I am the only Snyder kid who is childless. But hey....good luck with all that. Can't wait to see that baby.
I was deeply disappointed that I wasn't able to coach your mom through your delivery, Kato. I was by far the best coach in the Lamaze class we were taking and hated being reduced to pacing around the hospital like someone from a fifties sitcom. I did get into trouble, however, when I was called back to the nursery to see you in an incubator while your mom was going to recovery. I thought I spent only a few minutes staring at you, but when I went back to the waiting room, everyone was worried that something was wrong with you because I was gone so long. Then, they got a little angry.
Travis, however, was valiant in his coaching of Heidi with Luke, and I'm sure Alex will do the same with you and Hamilton. That's assuming, of course, that you two are coachable.
Dad...Alex and I just read your comment together. When I noticed him looking at me knowingly out of the corner of his eye, I knew he'd read your last line. I started laughing and he said, "Hmmm...I guess he knows his daughter." At that moment I also got the distinct impression that Hamilton and I will quite possibly be a handful for my sweet little husband...okay maybe more than a "handful."
Travis...
Where can I pick up one of those SIDS resistant mattresses? I'll return mine ASAP.
Alex, here's some bits of advice that might help your coaching during the delivery.
* Leave the whistle at home.
* Don't repeat anything you've ever heard Kato scream at her runners during a race, except possibly "push" and that ONLY on the physician's cue.
* Don't urge her to go to her "happy place." She'll only reply, through gritted teeth, "My happy place is what got me here, buster, and if you ever want to go to YOUR happy place again, you'd better pray I forget all about this. "
* Don't let "calm, cool, and collected" (in that or in any other word order) ever cross your lips--unless it's in an extreme emergency. If, horror of horrors, Kato needs some sort of resuscitation, then you can go ahead and use it. That phrase would raise her from the dead (and put you in jeopardy of going there yourself).
Finally, I'm told that even the calmest and sweetest of women can become extremely angry and even profane during the stress of childbirth, so it may have the exact opposite effect on Kato. You may have nothing to worry about.
I love being a part of the Snyder family! This blog and it's comments are making me laugh out loud (an amazing feat). I'm so lucky to be surrounded by literary entertainers!
And Alex, along with Phil's advice, everything will be OK if as soon as you check in, go flag down the anesthesiologist and bring him directly to Kate. Travis said I was mean until the "medicine man" showed up. Then things were a lot more enjoyable.
I'd like to officially nominate Dad's above comments as the best of 2007.
Hilarious.
Heidi, I'm glad to be a part of this crazy family too! :)
I second Dad's comments as "best of 2007," but more for their accuracy than humor :). Can't wait to show Alex!! It's better than all our baby classes combined!
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